Jan Jansson was making a stew.
He added a turnip or two.
He added three more,
Then seventy-four,
And that's why Jan Jansson I slew.
-большеAvariels all love to fly,
So that's why you'll hear Aerie cry:
"I'm no longer free!
"Be sorry for me!
"I think I'll just curl up and die."
A paladin's lot isn't fair.
His family say he's never there.
Should he no longer roam?
Should he spend time at home?
Old Keldorn, he just doesn't care.
Irenicus fell from his tree.
He went on a kidnapping spree.
At first he did well
But we chased him to hell
And rescued our souls before tea.
When demons and minotaurs sin,
Let's see if the ranger is in.
The beasts will be bettered
When Minsc is unfettered:
"Butt kicking for goodness!" will win.
Imoen's sure full of zest.
She loves a good practical jest.
She said, "You can see
"I have feelings for thee,"
And painted my face on her breast.
Haer'Dalis came down from the Planes,
Out-romancing all of the swains.
Some girls think he's hot
But I think he's not,
Because of his underwear stains.
My brother's as bad as they come.
And join me? You think that I'm dumb?
We have the same daddy
But he's a true baddie
Who should stay in Hell; he's a bum.
My PC is better than yours!
He can unlock magic doors!
He knows every spell
And dual-wields so well
That he'd slay your PC without pause!
Anomen, are you so sure
That all of your actions are pure?
You're good when you heal,
But here is the deal:
For arrogance there is no cure.
There once was a dwarf called Korgan
Who offered a halfling his "organ"
A short sword she bore
His scrotum she tore
And now it resembles a gorgon.
There once was a mage so insane
He began to see things in his brain
When talking 'bout rabbits
Became a bad habit
Xzar started to cause people pain.
I learnt this at Vampire School:
Don't flirt with the living, you fool.
Some mortals are hot,
But I say, so what?
Dead people are literally cool.
Jaheira has sex at eleven.
For her it's like being in heaven.
Because she's a druid
Her balance is fluid;
Her vaginal pH is seven.
How I'd love to kill Saemon Havarian!
Sword's ready, but ... he's not there... AGAIN!
Yes, the devs gave him a spell
(The PC should have it as well!)
So the prat will end up a centenarian.
When Bodhi wants to have fun
She allows her victims to run
That's a stupid mistake
Lots of villains would make
Now we're burning her heart in the sun
Valygar was so sad
Because a Lich Lew his dad
Then he Met his Grandpa Lavok
which came as a great shock
becuase he was rather mad
A paladin was what Mazzy would be
So she could go on an evil slaying spree
but her sword was so small
That she died in a brawl
when she stabbed an orge in the knee
Korax the Ghoul was our friend
Our sorry hides he would defend
But hungry he got
So without a thought
He ate us all up in the end
Garrick was a bard not-so-fine
Wrote a poem in his spare time
He started with orange...
Wait, nothing rhymes with orange!
Man oh man, that Garrick can't rhyme!
Melissan; no give and all take,
Unsurprisingly turned out to be fake,
But donning claws on the sly,
Adding an 'a' and a 'y',
An ultimate villain doth not make
There was once a girl named Ellesime,
Who was known as "Annoying Elf Queen",
Perhaps due to her voice,
Or her relationship choice...
Mayhap she was simply too green.
Our party bard thought he was funny
But his jokes were far too punny
So from afar
Once he ran into Xzar
We turned him into a bunny.
There once was a sad elven mage
In depressing thoughts he'd engage
Yet even as such
I love him so much
Though he may make others feel rage.
An ambitious spellcaster from Thay
Found a scroll in a tomb, so they say
He must have been tired
The enchantment backfired
And he ended up queen for a day
There once was a proud humble knight
Who truly loved a good fight
Except with his wife
Who would hound day and night
"Keldorn take out the trash!"
There once was a sorcer named Kelsey
Whose father was once not so healthy
He was quite upset
Yet dad said " son do not fret
You'll meet a bhaal spawn and have a baby"
Anomen slept in my bed.
I'll love him until he is dead.
Then I'll remarry
A kobold named Larry
Or maybe a wizard named Ed.
In the guise of a Drow (name of Veldrin)
I encountered an elf not quite Seldarine.
When she said "Male, to bed!"
My blood rose hot & red
But it wasn't contempt that I held her in.
Full sore did Minsc smite the rude bandit--
Not over to him would he hand it!
A scalp still half clung
To one chunk that was flung...
Did anyone see where that landed?
Old Quayle is something to see
If you visit him just before tea,
For he still feels compelled
To have himself jelled
Each day at a quarter past three.
Those nobles can be such boors
With the cut of their fancy plus-fours!
'Til I said, "Here, try mine!"
(Celestial Fury did fine)
And left one sporting just metal drawers.
Of quests piling up don't remind us--
We thought we'd left pressures behind us.
When up pops unbidden
That Immesvale kid, and
How in the hells does he know where to find us?
Though the dank of this air makes us cough, we
Must get through this lair & be off; we
Can do this one quest
In the Elder Orb's nest,
Then we really must get that piwafwi...!
отсюда
Лимерики
Jan Jansson was making a stew.
He added a turnip or two.
He added three more,
Then seventy-four,
And that's why Jan Jansson I slew.
-больше
He added a turnip or two.
He added three more,
Then seventy-four,
And that's why Jan Jansson I slew.
-больше